As you know, or might know, I have been “Breaking Free” through a bible study by Beth Moore. So far it has been an amazing experience. I do homework each day and every Wednesday I get together with a group of women from the church to watch a message from Beth Moore and talk about the homework for the week.
Each day has its own challenges, it is not always easy to hear that you have strongholds in your life. I know personally, I like to think I’m in control and that I have all the power to change my circumstances. Unfortunately, I don’t have the power because if I was in control I would have a job by now. The bible study has brought me peace in ways I never believed possible.
The bible study started with a foundation, then we looked at generational bondage, last week we looked at ways our hearts are broken (childhood abuse, betrayal, and loss) this week we are looking at how God gives us beauty for the ashes. We are looking four dreams every little girl has, to be a bride, to be beautiful, to be fruitful and to live happily ever after. While we were looking at the dream of being a bride, Beth Moore brought us to a bible verse I thought was interesting:
Jeremiah 2:2
Go and cry in the city in the hearing of Jerusalem saying, ‘Thus says the Lord, “I remember you, the kindness of your youth. The love of your betrothal, when you went after me in the wilderness, in the land not sown. “
This caught my attention for two reasons 1) I followed my love into the wilderness of Mississippi 2) I have followed God into a wilderness I do not yet understand. I want to say I’m in a wilderness of rejection and a complete loss of self-esteem, because that is where I feel I have been for the last six months. Even as I write that I know there is more to this journey. Maybe I should actually title my current wilderness “God allowing me to struggle with the issues I’ve face all my life.” I know that God would not have brought me to Mississippi without a reason, even if it is just to help Tyler through his program. I know that there will be an end to my current wilderness and I’ll follow God into my new adventure.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Our "first" Valentine's Day
I know that this year is going to be full of “firsts,” our first Thanksgiving married, first Christmas married, first Easter married. As much as I try I can’t really get excited about our “firsts” because they aren’t our first. At the end of February Tyler and I will celebrate our first date, four years ago. That means we have had four Christmas’ and I guess we have only had three Valentine ’s Day celebrations but still this was our fourth Valentine’s Day celebration.
Our Valentines weekend started the way I like all weekends to start, sleeping in! I’m not sure what time we got up but I felt well rested! I started to study for the GRE and Tyler started looking out the window for the mail man. He was just sure his Christmas present from his “little sister” Brittany would be in the mail. He was right, and as soon as he opened the package I decided what my Valentine ’s Day gift to him would be. I decided to subject myself to his favorite movie of 2009, The Hangover. I told him I would never watch it…but because I don’t have any money that it would be a cheap gift.
So we spent the afternoon watching his movie…and I tried to appear entertained and not look bored. After the movie he went into the office to get his assignment he’d forgotten. I figured he would stop and get me flowers while he was out, but he came in empty handed. After taking off his shoes and putting away his keys he asked, “Who left that pile of stuff out there.” I honestly figured he meant the trash; our neighbors have a terrible habit of leaving trash in the hallway. But when he smiled I knew it was for me, beautiful flowers that I need to attempt to keep alive. Hopefully, they will last longer than the flowers he gave me last Valentine’s Day!
Tyler wanted to go out for supper, but since we are poor and he had a ton of homework I decided to ask if we could have my favorite meal, pizza! So our Valentines supper was eating pizza in the living room on the floor by candlelight. I know that this probably isn’t the general population’s idea of romantic but I thought it was really sweet. After supper Tyler went back to work on his project, while I studied for the GRE and watched the Olympics (which I love!). About midnight we decided it was time for dessert and ate some cheesecake. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful day and our first/fourth Valentine’s Day!
Our Valentines weekend started the way I like all weekends to start, sleeping in! I’m not sure what time we got up but I felt well rested! I started to study for the GRE and Tyler started looking out the window for the mail man. He was just sure his Christmas present from his “little sister” Brittany would be in the mail. He was right, and as soon as he opened the package I decided what my Valentine ’s Day gift to him would be. I decided to subject myself to his favorite movie of 2009, The Hangover. I told him I would never watch it…but because I don’t have any money that it would be a cheap gift.
So we spent the afternoon watching his movie…and I tried to appear entertained and not look bored. After the movie he went into the office to get his assignment he’d forgotten. I figured he would stop and get me flowers while he was out, but he came in empty handed. After taking off his shoes and putting away his keys he asked, “Who left that pile of stuff out there.” I honestly figured he meant the trash; our neighbors have a terrible habit of leaving trash in the hallway. But when he smiled I knew it was for me, beautiful flowers that I need to attempt to keep alive. Hopefully, they will last longer than the flowers he gave me last Valentine’s Day!
Tyler wanted to go out for supper, but since we are poor and he had a ton of homework I decided to ask if we could have my favorite meal, pizza! So our Valentines supper was eating pizza in the living room on the floor by candlelight. I know that this probably isn’t the general population’s idea of romantic but I thought it was really sweet. After supper Tyler went back to work on his project, while I studied for the GRE and watched the Olympics (which I love!). About midnight we decided it was time for dessert and ate some cheesecake. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful day and our first/fourth Valentine’s Day!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Update on list
Good news! Tyler must have read my blog because last night before going to bed he took off his socks! When I asked if it was because of the blog he told me, "No, my feet are just hot!" I'm pretty sure I don't believe him, I guess we will see if he does it again tonight.
Waiting...
So previously I've mentioned that I was telling God to hurry up! I wanted a job and I wanted it now! And the song, "Waiting" by John Weller has brought me so peace so I thought I would share! I first heard this song on a former teachers blog, she was waiting to find out if their adoption would be possible. It moved me that she was still believing the adoption would happen after waiting for such a long time, if she could wait for a baby I could wait to find a job!
I really love the line, "I will move ahead bold and confident...while I wait." Waiting doesn't mean that I need to just sit and wait for God to move in my life, but that I can take the steps to bring that change while I wait.
There are just so many lines I love in this song! I felt like it was written for me! haha Maybe someone reading the blog will allow God to renew their peace through the song, like he has done for me countless times. It seems like whenever I need this song the most it comes on the radio or on my phone and I always feel better after hearing it!
I really love the line, "I will move ahead bold and confident...while I wait." Waiting doesn't mean that I need to just sit and wait for God to move in my life, but that I can take the steps to bring that change while I wait.
There are just so many lines I love in this song! I felt like it was written for me! haha Maybe someone reading the blog will allow God to renew their peace through the song, like he has done for me countless times. It seems like whenever I need this song the most it comes on the radio or on my phone and I always feel better after hearing it!
Monday, February 8, 2010
We have been married for six months
In honor of Tyler and I's six month anniversary I decided to list the six things I have learned about Tyler I did not know about him before living together!
1) Tyler will drink striaght out of the milk carton if I don't catch him.
2) Tyler seems to think every room in our home is his bedroom. Which means when I start the laundry I have to grab his dirty clothes out of the living room, his "man room", the bathrooms and our bedroom.
3) He needs to play video games. At first I thought this was just silly but every once in awhile I can see that he is really stressed and playing Madden for 20 minutes seems to make it better. I guess the play station might actually be useful...sometimes...
4) He prides himself on being unorganized but I recently found notecards with a to-do list on his desk. Which means he is secretly organized!
5) He is amazingly sweet and patient with me when I'm most frustrated. We have had some intense moments, some of which were probably just my emotions, and he just tells me he loves me. Which competely defuses the situation and I feel silly for being so upset.
6) He wears his socks to bed, which would be okay if he woke up with socks on his feet. Instead the socks end up staying the bed, so when I change our sheets I find twenty pairs of socks in the sheets!
Well I guess that isn't much of a list, but our first six months have been great. Missing home and learning to take care of each other has been a great experience. We have had some amazing moments and terrible moments but I guess that makes a marriage.
1) Tyler will drink striaght out of the milk carton if I don't catch him.
2) Tyler seems to think every room in our home is his bedroom. Which means when I start the laundry I have to grab his dirty clothes out of the living room, his "man room", the bathrooms and our bedroom.
3) He needs to play video games. At first I thought this was just silly but every once in awhile I can see that he is really stressed and playing Madden for 20 minutes seems to make it better. I guess the play station might actually be useful...sometimes...
4) He prides himself on being unorganized but I recently found notecards with a to-do list on his desk. Which means he is secretly organized!
5) He is amazingly sweet and patient with me when I'm most frustrated. We have had some intense moments, some of which were probably just my emotions, and he just tells me he loves me. Which competely defuses the situation and I feel silly for being so upset.
6) He wears his socks to bed, which would be okay if he woke up with socks on his feet. Instead the socks end up staying the bed, so when I change our sheets I find twenty pairs of socks in the sheets!
Well I guess that isn't much of a list, but our first six months have been great. Missing home and learning to take care of each other has been a great experience. We have had some amazing moments and terrible moments but I guess that makes a marriage.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
A Story...
I want to make this really fast, as soon as Tyler gets home we are heading over to Val's house for a Super Bowl party. (Go Colts!)
Today at church there was a guest speaker, Mr. Jim Newsom, who has an amazing testimony that he chose not to share today because I guess the rest of the church has heard it numerous times. Instead he spoke about our own individual testimonies. Our stories, the things God has done in our lives and can do in others lives. He spoke about the impact a story has, "you can literally watch their faith rise when they think, "If Jim can free himself from his addiction surely I can."
This really made me think, what's my story? How can I impact others lives? I've decided to find my story, my testimony. I mean I know the basics, I know that when I was six I was supposed to be cleaning my room and instead decided to listen to the doughnut man. So rather then cleaning I gave my heart to Jesus for the first time. I know that numerous times throughout my short life I have fallen short of his glory and rededicated myself and my life.
I want to know, notice and enjoy God's impact on my life. He encouraged the congregation to allow God to work and stay faithful even when we want to ask God to hurry up! That word went right to my heart, I've been praying for God to hurry up and my heart was getting tired. I was tired of waiting and getting rejected. When I was getting the most frustrated, he brought me the bible study. He brought me immediate relief from my student loans. When I felt the most desperate he told me to hold on...just hold on for one more day. The next day my prayer was answered. I still don't have a job, but my faith has been renewed.
God uses impossible means to end impossible situations. I will probably blog more about this later...it was a great sermon!
We are getting ready to leave! GO COLTS!!
Today at church there was a guest speaker, Mr. Jim Newsom, who has an amazing testimony that he chose not to share today because I guess the rest of the church has heard it numerous times. Instead he spoke about our own individual testimonies. Our stories, the things God has done in our lives and can do in others lives. He spoke about the impact a story has, "you can literally watch their faith rise when they think, "If Jim can free himself from his addiction surely I can."
This really made me think, what's my story? How can I impact others lives? I've decided to find my story, my testimony. I mean I know the basics, I know that when I was six I was supposed to be cleaning my room and instead decided to listen to the doughnut man. So rather then cleaning I gave my heart to Jesus for the first time. I know that numerous times throughout my short life I have fallen short of his glory and rededicated myself and my life.
I want to know, notice and enjoy God's impact on my life. He encouraged the congregation to allow God to work and stay faithful even when we want to ask God to hurry up! That word went right to my heart, I've been praying for God to hurry up and my heart was getting tired. I was tired of waiting and getting rejected. When I was getting the most frustrated, he brought me the bible study. He brought me immediate relief from my student loans. When I felt the most desperate he told me to hold on...just hold on for one more day. The next day my prayer was answered. I still don't have a job, but my faith has been renewed.
God uses impossible means to end impossible situations. I will probably blog more about this later...it was a great sermon!
We are getting ready to leave! GO COLTS!!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Breaking Free!
I was doing so well! Then I went back to my old ways. I think the reason I don't blog often is because I feel like I have to have something to blog about and that it needs to be about the south. After all I named the blog "Adventures in Mississippi," but after discussing blogging with my new friend, Emily, I decided the blog doesn't have to be just about living in the south...instead I want it to be a online journal for Tyler and I as we enjoy, learn and grow together. I'm going to try to be more opionionated, open and defiantly less reserved. So, I hope that I don't offend or upset anyone or make anyone want to puke because Tyler is amazing, just to warn you he does get mushy...and I think instead of hiding the fact that my husband is sweet I'm going to blog about it so I can remind myself that he is a sweetheart when he is driving me CRAZY!! P.S. Tiffany I'm sooooooo sick of picking up his socks! :)
So that is it, I'm starting a new blog right now and a new me!
You might ask what is inspiring this new Tia? Well, for starters I have a plan, yes a plan. (Tyler used to make fun of me for planning to plan and since I've been in Mississippi I have not had a plan!) I'm currently studying for the GRE and studying Spanish to get into the English Masters program at MSU, more about this later.
The biggest reason for my change is I'm breaking free!! In Jesus name, I'm breaking free! Tyler and I found a church in early November, and immediately a young couple Jack and Emily (my previously mentioned new friend), reached out and made us feel comfortable. After a wonderful time at home, my parents always put things in perspective and bring me back down to earth, I was ready for a change when we returned to Mississippi. So when I saw that there was a new bible study at church I knew that this was it, my change. Being me I didn't want to step out alone, so I reached out to Emily. She helped me get into the bible study and even lets me ride with her! Her friendship has been such a blessing to me, and we are quickly finding out that we are very similar, including both having a blog!
The name of the bible study is Breaking Free, and it is changing my life. I can say that with no reservations because I'm changing. It's not something that is over night and I'm learning to "get through the moments to get to my milestones." When I started the bible study, I will be honest I did it to hopefully make a small change, make some new friends and to be blunt I wanted to have something to do. When I saw the title of the bible study I did not think that it would really impact me. What would I break free from? (How about breaking free from pride?!) But I honestly thought, well I don't do drugs, drink excessively or swear that often.
Well, I guess God had another plan because during the first week I realized I'm a woman with heavy bondage...heavy, heavy bondage. In the bible study we describe bondage as anything that prevents us from living the abundant and Spirit-filled life God has planned for us. When I read that I realized my pride (What am I going to break free from?) stopped me from realizing that I had some serious bondage. Some things, like wandering around lost for the last six months, are things that are preventing me from living an abundant life. Some of my bondage has deep roots, back to junior high and will be hard to change.
We are on our fourth week and it is getting intense. I do homework every day and every day I end up crying and thanking God for his grace, the bible study and bringing me to this place in my life.
Well, for not blogging for a few weeks I have certainly come back full force! Until next time,
Love Always.
So that is it, I'm starting a new blog right now and a new me!
You might ask what is inspiring this new Tia? Well, for starters I have a plan, yes a plan. (Tyler used to make fun of me for planning to plan and since I've been in Mississippi I have not had a plan!) I'm currently studying for the GRE and studying Spanish to get into the English Masters program at MSU, more about this later.
The biggest reason for my change is I'm breaking free!! In Jesus name, I'm breaking free! Tyler and I found a church in early November, and immediately a young couple Jack and Emily (my previously mentioned new friend), reached out and made us feel comfortable. After a wonderful time at home, my parents always put things in perspective and bring me back down to earth, I was ready for a change when we returned to Mississippi. So when I saw that there was a new bible study at church I knew that this was it, my change. Being me I didn't want to step out alone, so I reached out to Emily. She helped me get into the bible study and even lets me ride with her! Her friendship has been such a blessing to me, and we are quickly finding out that we are very similar, including both having a blog!
The name of the bible study is Breaking Free, and it is changing my life. I can say that with no reservations because I'm changing. It's not something that is over night and I'm learning to "get through the moments to get to my milestones." When I started the bible study, I will be honest I did it to hopefully make a small change, make some new friends and to be blunt I wanted to have something to do. When I saw the title of the bible study I did not think that it would really impact me. What would I break free from? (How about breaking free from pride?!) But I honestly thought, well I don't do drugs, drink excessively or swear that often.
Well, I guess God had another plan because during the first week I realized I'm a woman with heavy bondage...heavy, heavy bondage. In the bible study we describe bondage as anything that prevents us from living the abundant and Spirit-filled life God has planned for us. When I read that I realized my pride (What am I going to break free from?) stopped me from realizing that I had some serious bondage. Some things, like wandering around lost for the last six months, are things that are preventing me from living an abundant life. Some of my bondage has deep roots, back to junior high and will be hard to change.
We are on our fourth week and it is getting intense. I do homework every day and every day I end up crying and thanking God for his grace, the bible study and bringing me to this place in my life.
Well, for not blogging for a few weeks I have certainly come back full force! Until next time,
Love Always.
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