Two weeks after we left the hospital, we found ourselves
back in the building, but this time we were in the outpatient offices. Alice
was getting a VCUG, or a test to make sure her urinary system was working
properly. That morning was awful. I told my Dad that I wasn’t nervous about the
results, but I was nervous about the test. For some reason I didn’t think
anything would be wrong, but I wanted to do the test to make sure. I was more
worried about putting Alice through the test. First, she couldn’t eat after 5
am. This girl eats all-the-time. I knew this would be hard on her. So I woke
her up at 4:00 and 4:45 to eat before I cut her off for the morning. Poor baby
was getting super irritable. We waited in three waiting rooms before we were in
the testing room, where the sweet x-ray tech told me she had no idea why they
said she couldn’t eat. I had been starving my baby…and I didn’t have to be?!
They had to use a catheter to shot dye into her bladder to
take x-rays. The x-rays showed that she
has bilateral kidney reflux, which means that each of her ureters allows urine to
reflux back into her kidneys. This can, and does, cause damage to the kidney
when a child has a UTI. So, in essence the UTI was a bigger deal than I
realized. Too much damage, leads to failure. Obviously, we are not to that
point. We discovered her reflux before there could be much, if any, damage.
So—this discovery meant we had to see a specialist. On her
four month birthday (I told Tyler we are lucky she is too young to know that we
suck and that this is an awful birthday celebration) we went to Memphis to Le
Bonheur’s Children’s Hospital to meet with an Urologist. He was great. It was
an answer to our prayers that we immediately trusted him with our sweet girl.
He confirmed her diagnosis. She has a grade 1 reflux on the right and a low
grade 5 on her left (The reflux is measured in grades from 1 being low and 5
being the highest). He explained that her ureters are not connected to the
bladder in the correct position, which allows the urine to move back into the
bladder. This probably happened in the womb in between 15-18 weeks. There is a 35% chance that any other children
Tyler and I have will also have kidney reflux.
The plan—We walked away with a plan. We are going to give
her daily antibiotic to avoid UTIs. At a year we will re-do that awful test.
There is a 50% chance that there will be improvement. If there is no
improvement, there will likely never be improvement and she will need surgery. If
there is improvement, then we have a choice to make…more antibiotics and retest
when she is two or surgery. If it is not corrected itself by the time she is
four, it will most likely not improve (but I am not holding a four year old
down for that test!) Her doctor said
that he believes in allowing only one break through infection, and then it is surgery
time. He said he has a 99% success rate, and that babies do extremely well with
the surgery. It takes two hours and she would need to stay in the hospital for
a few days.
Those are the technical answers. There are so many emotions
floating around. I feel mad that she has to go through this. I feel blessed
that she has no kidney damage and we know what to watch for infections. I feel
hurt that my baby has an imperfection and that God is allowing us to go through
this. I feel like I am not mature enough to make these choices. But overall, I
just want to hold my precious girl close and keep all pain away from her and I know
that I have to face the reality that I can’t. I was hoping to protect her from
pain for a long time. I try to be attentive to her cries, she doesn’t cry it
out. Mama is never far. Unfortunately, no matter how close I hold her--No
matter how many times I comfort her during the night or hold her through her
naps; I have to force that antibiotic, which she hates, down her throat. I have
to take her to Memphis in September and put her through that test again. I have
to decide if she needs surgery, which is more pain and confusion. Sigh. For all my whining and complaining, I do
trust God with my baby, and I continually remind myself that this is not
something to worry about, just something to pray about.
Now that all that yucky stuff is out of the way—check out
this cutie! Mommy took a bunch of photos, and these are some of the cutest!
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